Tales from the High Seas

     Here's a random bundle of things I wrote months ago, and never shared. There were a million more things I'd like to remember and relate, but perhaps it's time to acknowledge that that "ship has sailed" (for now) so I can tell a little about what's going on currently.

Also, I'm practicing giving up on perfectionism, so you must deal with what you get.

"A painting is never finished. It just stops in interesting places."

We'll call this a word painting, I hope it's interesting. ;)

Coworker, Ivan, who caused me much unnecessary trouble. All I did were harmless things like throwing loaves of bread over the shelves onto the isle while he worked and hitting him square in the face... We raced once, to see who could load their section of the freezer first, and with only a little foul play from both sides, I finished just a tad before him. He was known as a sort of Freezer Section King, so I was pretty proud. (although I did have the smaller load, since he let me choose before we started.)

     As you all know, I work at Trader Joe's. Funny thing is, I didn't notice the name really until I'd been there for at least a month and saw the sign that said, "Trading Hours: 8 to 9", and suddenly realized that "Trader" meant something and wasn't just a bunch of letters that came before "joes", gobbled together in much the same way as those of "Adamaneve"-- the name of the first human until I was about 7. So now it makes more sense why we were all part of the "crew" the managers are called "mates" and just below them are some misfits called "merchants", and the place at the front for customer service and such is called the "bridge." It took me a while, but it did finally click, and hence the title for my stories.
     The same lady who I described in detail before came in again and I mentioned to her that I had asked my Dad those Jeopardy questions and she said very energetically, "Did he know the answers??" "Yes, he did." She replied very knowingly, "Ah, well he's a smart man." "Yes he is! But he didn't guess the cantaloupe one." With a "That's understandable, we'll excuse him this time" tone of voice she said: "Well, that's because he's more serious." She then began to drill another of my coworkers, Gary, and he knew the answers as well except for the cantaloupe. So while she stared eagerly at him waiting for him to guess he looked up at me at a loss and I mouthed very obviously "It's a PEAR". She was astounded that he guessed correctly and decided that he could join our nerd club.

My farewell gathering on my last day of work! What a great bunch.

     Once at the register, I asked a man how his day had been and he said, "It's been really great, I just got back from a shoot." "A what?" "A shoot! Like for a movie. My church is making a short movie." "That's cool! What's it about?" "It's a Christmas story. I'm really excited to see it, because I'm the props dude and I just get to see it in snippets, so it's gonna be really interesting to see it all put together." "That's really cool, I bet it will be fun to see." "Yeah. Oh, and it's gonna be especially interesting because Darth Vader is going to be in the Nativity scene." "..."

     Near Halloween a lady from England came in and bought eleven large pumpkins to decorate with, wanted them each bagged, (not a small project), and then when it was time for her to go she announced that she could not carry them, her mother could not carry them, and they had nobody that could carry them. Of course we offered to help her to her car, "No, you see, I still won't be able to unload them at home."

One of my favorite things to do at work is drop a case of blueberries, watch them take off in every direction like excited mice, and then plop down on my hands and knees under everything and everybody collecting them. I don't do the first part on purpose usually.

A man came in and decided to sing a symphony for me that involved cannons, which he imitated to the best of his ability right there at the register.

Yesterday a lady came in and bought 36 cans of pumpkin. Pumpkin pie party? Nope. Dogs.

One of my coworkers said to me the other day, "Gemma, what's your last name again? Quakerbottom?"

I had a giant cucumber, so I knighted Gary as I passed by, and so he called me Gwinny for a day.  Gary is the elderly coworker who offered me a huge Dodger ring and said, "You know how I feel about you, Gemma," and made me wear it all through the World Series. He also swears he'll beat up anybody who gives me trouble and says I have to check with him before I ever decide to date anybody.

Gary! And behind us: Jason and Tim.

I don't know what to do when:

Somebody asks me if we have vegetarian butter.

Somebody asks for vegan coffee. "It's made out of brown rice and all the ingredients are vegan."

     A grumpy lady approached me followed closely by my kind coworker, Tim. The lady said, "Here, you can help me, he wouldn't know, but you're a woman so you'll know if these strawberries are good or not." Tim looked at me, "I'll let you take care of this." and walked away.  I gave her a container of strawberries, saying they seemed right to me. "They smell good, and I hear that's how you know if they're ripe." She took that and said, "now, are these bananas good?" Holding up a bunch of bright yellow bananas, looking much the same as all bananas do, so I said, "Yes, those are good bananas." So then I spent the next 10 minutes walking around the store, giving her groundless yet confident declarations that each thing she grabbed was "good." Or "The right one." And this perfectly satisfied her needs. That's me, giving customers reliable, informed opinions...

Always fun when sisters visited! Especially when you're stuck in the demo station for hours on end... That's Steve, the Nut guy, ruining our picture.... Once, he walked up to me and said seriously, "Gemma, I realize I've really been looking up to you for a while now." I thought, "what a lovely thing to say!" until I saw the smirk in his eyes and noticed I was a good two feet taller than him, and had been standing on a step stool organizing a shelf for a while. Nice one, Steve. 

Some wonderful managers! Angel (on the right) and I used to have "debates" about our beliefs and such, that usually consisted of him speaking to me until he felt guilty for not working or another manager walked by, and then listening for ten seconds before slapping his head and saying "Aww Gemma! You're terrible!" and walking away before I really had a chance to say anything. Often our conversations looked like: "Hi, Gemma! I hope we get along today!" "Me too, I guess it depends if we want to or not." "Gemma!!! Why are you so mean to me? I just want to be friends, what's a guy supposed to do?!"  "I didn't say anything! What are you talking about??" "GEE, Gemma, I try to be nice, but you've got a real hidden attitude. You see, I believe in kindness and care for friends but you can only do so much with some people..." We kept each other laughing for sure.

      I was serving mac and cheese the other day, when an old man with a huge beard came in and looked longingly at it. After a bit I asked, "Do you like Mac'n'Cheese?" "Are you kidding?! I used to live off this stuff! How do you make it?" "Six minutes in the microwave." "Aw man. My girlfriend made me unplug the microwave." "Oh, well you could use the oven!" "It's broken." "Ah." "Do you think microwaves are bad for you?" "No, not really. I use one all the time." He continued to look at it, so I offered "why not plug your microwave back in?" "My girlfriend doesn't want me to." "Well she doesn't have to eat the mac'n'cheese..." "You think I should?" "Why not?" "Should I just get it?" "If you want to, it's up to you." Stares at it longer and says, "Should I get it just for old times sake? It's just one..." "Go for it." He finally decided to buy it and then noticed my name tag. "Gemma, Q. What's the Q for?" "Quackenbush." Completely astounded: "QUACKENBUSH?" "Yup.  "Gemma QUACKENBUSH???" "Yes." Amazed:  "Where are you from?" "I grew up in Ojai." "Gemma QUACKENBUSH from OJAI?! How  did you get this job?" "Um, I applied." Pause. Do you have siblings?" "Yeah, 10." "TEN SIBLINGS? Gemma Quackenbush from ojai with 10 siblings??? What does your Dad DO?" "He's a college professor." "Gemma Quackenbush with 10 siblings from Ojai and your Dad's a college professor?!?!" He was acting slightly dazed, as though he'd just heard some much bigger news than what I had actually told him and finally said, "Gee, the universe is throwing some weird biscuits today. How do you spell Quackenbush?" "Just like it sounds, "Quack" like a duck..." "Ok, so C-U-A-C-K..." "No, it's a Q, not a C." "So if I just get on Facebook and type in GEMMA QUACKENBUSH" I can just shoot you a friend request?"  We will end this story here....

This gentleman, Harry, is well loved by the whole Crew, and we all loved to help him gather his few items, and help him stir sugar into his coffee. He couldn't stand up straight, and so we'd cut a straw in half so that he could get the coffee out of our tiny Trader Joe's taste cups. He and I would have lunch together when his shopping and my lunch coincided, and he usually took the time to crack jokes, accuse me of not sharing more of my lunch, or give me good advice about valuing life, God and family! And sometimes said family would show up to shop too, and we'd have quite a happy mini-reunion during a normal work and school day!

     Another man named Carl found out I went to "Theology School" and so am a "religious person." So he recommended a book to me by a nun, who "got tired of the religious aspect of it." Sounds like a great book. He also told me inspiringly to just go "do your life, and take every chance you get." That's the second best advice I've heard from someone who'd just heard my little account of what I'm doing, "Taking a gap year, living here now." The one that really takes the cake was when a man said slowly and carefully, "Whatever you do. Just, don't make a bad choice. Nowadays, lots of young people make a bad choice, and then four years down the road they look back and say, 'Gee, wish I hadn't done that." Thank you sir, I'll keep a sharp look out for those choices and be sure to go with the one that's labeled, "Guaranteed no regret."

Christmas party in the storage room! (Who's running the store... we were all on shift here...)

My coworker, Fernando. He took Elizabeth and me on some hikes, this one up by Griffith observatory. We had a fun and goofy time. :)

Another coworker, Chris. He gave me a skateboard lesson once after work as we walked a block or two on our ways home. "Ok, Gemma. Now remember. You. Control. The Skateboard. THE SKATEBOARD DOES NOT. CONTROL.YOU." He repeated this several times to be sure I understood, and this was the extent of his instructions. I did pretty good, I think.

     So there are some scattered, unorganized and goofy memories. They're random and silly and nowhere near a full picture of what it was like there, but remembering that stage and all I found there are a way that I'm reminded of how most "regular" stages of life, with a little time and a little noticing and a little openness, become an inexpressible store of richness and relationships, invaluable challenges, growth, and fun. I needed that year, and I received it. I didn't live it because I went out and made sure to find it. It was given to me. And although it's awfully easy to worry about doing things right and making "good choices," or even about having no idea what you want or what you're meant for, I take my experience of my year in Montrose--just as I take most everything else since then and before then--as evidence and promise of the abundance and purpose that is before me now, and always will be offered by a Generous Hand for the rest of my life.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me,

    You're steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

    Do not forsake the work of your hands."

Psalm 138

   

It's been over a year since anybody posted on this thing, so I'm going to post something.

One good way to survive growing is to hike a lot. Here are some of my favorite pictures from my current favorite haunt (Mt. Lukens).

DTLA just how I like it: tiny and far away.

"oh deer, a stalker" -- Rachel